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Example 1: A child cries when placed in a crib at night and allowed to cry until in exhaustion they fall asleep. [Note in passing: Here we have a situation where a newborn has a set aside room, a nursery, and caregivers are anxious to have the infant's sleep patterns conform to theirs. Only a child's mentality would think their schedule to be more significant than a newborn's. (This is an example of a grown-up-child subsidizing their perceived lack of significance at the expense of a newborn's significance.) While in the womb the pre-born child slept when it was entirely natural for the pre-born child to sleep. While in the womb the pre-born child spent its waking hours and its sleeping hours enveloped by the mother's presence. While in the womb excretory debris did not cause discomfort. While in the womb the child did not experience hunger or thirst. When the pre-born child woke, it woke within the enveloping presence of the mother. Transitions are difficult enough for grown-ups. The transition from womb to great big strange world is one heck of a transition for a just beginning to size up the world newborn child! While within the womb, nature thoroughly assured the pre-born child they were supremely significant. The world the just-born child enters should be as womb-like as is humanly possible to recreate. Western civilizations claim to be superiorly civilized. I'm not so sure! The original inhabitants of North America with their papoose were incredibly more newborn friendly than contemporary North American practices. Even the cave-people slept in the same area providing the immediacy of comfort and assurance to the newborn. I'm not sure where the idea that a child needs a separate room at the end of a hall came from; actually, it is more likely is was the grown-ups who wanted a room at the end of the hall away from their child... Whatever! Isolation is a significance diminishing practice. As long as the child feels the need to sleep in the presence of their caregivers, their legitimate need should be respected.] Now, where was I? Oh, yes! The newborn infant is placed in its crib and because the caregiver believes the infant is capable of manipulative behavior the newborn child is allowed to cry until in exhaustion, it collapses into a fatigue the caregiver accepts as restive sleep. This may not be done the first day home, but soon, within weeks, perhaps a month, the infant is made to conform to the caregiver's routine and forced to relinquish its own. Very soon, the infant is made to realize who is, and who is not, the significant one in the house.
Risking redundancy, there is nothing meta-physical about a baby's cry. Each cry is directly attached to a physics-based physiological phenomenon. A child's cry indicates the presence of a forming static data loop; a dynamic the caregiver can address with two or three years of concentrated attention, but a dynamic that if left unaddressed the child will struggle with all the remaining years of their life. Babies are not creating something out of nothing. An infant's cries deserve the utmost respect. When an infant cries, if nothing else, offer it the comfort of your arms and voice. Better yet, while cradling the child in your arms and softy cooing, figure out what the problem was so you can anticipate it in the future and deal with it before the infant's sacred significance is diminished one more time. You don't have much time to get it right!
Example 2: Then, the infant wakes up. The child is soiled, so there is an unnatural discomfort between their legs, and the infant is experiencing a most unpleasant feeling in its abdomen. The room is dark and silent. The infant waits, its arms and legs winging about spasmodically. The blankets are pulled away. Now, added to the discomfort between the legs and the most unpleasant feeling in its abdomen, there is a decided chill. Still, the infant waits. The infant waits. The infant waits. Becoming concerned, stressful fussings escape the infant's lips. Still, nothing! Finally becoming fearful, the infant breaks into a wail! After a minute or so of this terrorized wailing, the caregiver shows up. Get the picture?
Example 3: The child cries due to incomplete burping after nursing.
Example 4: The child cries due to constipation.
Example 5: The child cries due to soggy defecation it has been carrying around for some time.
Example 6: The child cries due to painful diaper rash.
Example 7: The child cries simply because they need the presence of their caregiver.
Example 8: The child cries because they are hungry.
Example 9: The child cries because they are tired.
Example 10: The child cries because they have colic.
Example 11: The child cries because they are cold.
Example 12: The child cries because their caregivers are arguing, fighting, yelling.
Example 13: The child is left crying because their caregiver is busy: telephone, television, friends, sun tanning in the backyard...
Example 14: The child cries because they rolled off the couch while unattended.
Example 15: The child cries because they are awkwardly strapped into a car seat because the caregiver gives more significance to an errand than to their child.
It is commonly thought the child must adjust to the real world. My question is: Which is the real world? Is the grown-up's world the real world? Is the infant's world the real world? You can probably guess which I think is the real world. What do you think?
When the infant becomes a toddler the ante is upped.
Example 16: The child spills a glass of milk all over the morning newspaper.
